Vampire Bitches in Heat
by Eggkara
Summary: Lindsay Ellis AKA The Nostalgia Chick, gets tangled up in some spirit cooking with non other than (s)Hillary Clinton! Spoony checks his privilege.


_*SCREENER COPY* *DO NOT PIRATE* *The following story has not been finished. Anyone caught distributing this unfinished copy will be prosecuted by the international copyright court and be subject to fines up to $100,000 and 10 years in prison.*_

 **Vampire Bitches in Heat**

by Smegkara

Chapter 1 - The Nostalgia Clinic

Lindsay Ellis sat on the table with her feet up in the stirrups.

There Goes My Baby was playing on the radio.

The doctor entered the room holding a clipboard.

"Alright Miss Ellis, welcome back. My goodness, it appears this is your 1000th abortion. Congratulations."

Record Scratch

Freeze Frame

"Yep, that's me. About to get my 1000th abortion. You're probably wondering how I got here.

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to get abortions."

Opening music from Goodfellas starts playing.

"That's me. 11 years old being gang banged by a pack of niggers. This wasn't my first nigger gang bang. I'd been addicted to BBC since I was 4 years old. This was just the first time I actually got pregnant from one."

"I'd been trying my whole life to get pregnant. Some of my earliest memories are of me stealing my dad's used condoms out of the trash can and squeezing the cum out into my pussy, just so I could get an abortion. When the big day finally came, I was ecstatic. My mother was mortified. She couldn't believe her little girl was running around trying to get pregnant just so she could have an abortion. But I knew better. I knew my abortions would take me places some day. I just had to keep having them. By the 6th time she drove me to the clinic in that first year it had become routine."

Lindsay and her mother get out of the car and are greeted by a friendly face with open arms. Little Lindsay ran to him and gave him a big hug.

"That's Dr. Chang. He was born to give abortions. He was half jewish and half chinese mixed with filipino. A true mongrel. He'd become an abortionist because he'd always wished someone had given his mother an abortion when that kike knocked her up. She'd been one of the most successful prostitutes in the orient until the pregnancy ruined her body, and she never let him forget it. He was an artist at abortions. Also he'd been "fucking" me since I was a child. After my first abortion I knew I needed to get pregnant again as soon as possible. I begged for his mongoloid cock while my mother sat out in the waiting room none the wiser."

Flash forward 15 years.

"Hi I'm your Nostalgia Chick. I remember it cuz the dudes don't."

"Here I am as the Nostalgia Chick, my first real job after college. I won the Nostalgia Chick contest because I fucked Douge Walker. That Chick With the Goggles fucked him too but she was a nigger so she was never going to win anyway. By the time we shot the first year anniversary video I had fucked every guy at TGWTG except for Spoony and Linkara. Spoony was impotent and Linkara wasn't into girls. "

The song "I like boys" from Teen Witch starts playing as we see a montage of Nostalgia Chick being fucked by every TGWTG reviewer and her subsequent abortions, ending with a shot of her in bed with Todd in the Shadows.

"This is Todd in the Shadows. After fucking around with everyone else on the site I finally settled on him as a long term boyfriend. Of course I still fucked around on the side but he didn't know that until I got pregnant with another nigger baby. That was something like my 600th or so abortion. I had kinda lost count at that point. Of course I told everyone it was my first. I was making a documentary about it. I didn't want to be slut shamed. This was when I met Anita, but we'll get back to her later. Now where were we? Oh yeah."

"Alright Miss Ellis, welcome back. My goodness it appears this is your 1000th abortion. Congratulations."

"Chyea, right? I wish I had a card I could get frequent abortion miles or something."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" They shared a laugh.

"Alrighty then, let's suck this little bastard piece of shit out of you."

Dr. Chang pulled out a long vacuum hose from the corner and held it infront of his

crotch like a dick. He began rubbing Lindsay's clit with it.

"I suppose you'd like to be *ahem* anesthetized."

"Of course!" (internally: "In addition to being my abortionist Dr. Chang was a great connection for all sorts of prescription pharmaceuticals. Whenever I'd get an abortion I'd have him shoot me up with medical grade heroin. Most of the time he would fuck me while I was passed out. I didn't mind of course. To be quite honest it really turned me on, being drugged and raped by a mongoloid chink-kike who just sucked a dead nigger baby out of my cunt. Just thinking about it is making my nipples hard.")

The abortion doctor pulled out a syringe of medical grade heroin (in truth it was some regular street grade horse cut to shit and stepped on by god knows how many niggers before it got to the nigger he bought it from but what did this stupid cunt know? She didn't know shit.)

He stuck the needle into her clit and injected her with the shit.

"mmm daddy that feels so good."she slurred before passing out.

Dr. Chang undid his belt and dropped his pants. His short but fat chode was as stiff as it could get. He rubbed it against her vulva and came almost instantly. He shuddered in his orgasm and threw up just a little bit. He was able to swallow most of it, he wiped the rest off his face with his sleeve and pulled out the abortion vacuum hose, forcefully jamming it into Lindsay's "roast beef sandwich" which is what he'd affectionately called her vagina. Her pussy lips engulfed the vacuum tube and hung down around it like the lips of the big lipped alligator. He switched on the vacuum and it sucked the chunky dead nigger baby out of her womb in a matter of minutes.

Dr. Chang sparked up a bowl.

He pulled the vacuum tube out of her big lipped alligator pussy and began eating out the leftover dead nigger baby chunks.

He wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"God damn I love my job."

Chapter 2 - Boo-ning with Spoony

It had been 8 monthes since April "passed away."

Everyone thought that Spoony had murdered her, but he knew it couldn't be true.

He had been asleep downstairs on the couch at the time when she clumsily fell down the stairs onto a pile of knives. That's all there was too it.

But somehow the nagging suspicion that maybe he had killed her was eating away at him. After all he had been in a bad headspace at the time.

(In truth, Spoony did kill April. He had entered into one of his famous Bad Head Spaces (and blacked out, savagely murdering her and blocking out the memories. In his madness he had managed to convince himself that it never happened.)

He was so unsure of himself. He felt Like Curtis from his old let's play of Phatasmagoria 2: A Puzzle of Flesh.

The tweets were relentless. "MURDERER! #SPOONYONE" "WIFE KILLER!

#TheSpoonyExperiment" "PATTON OSWALT! #Rebruary"

It was driving him insane. He needed closure. So he locked himself in his room for months on end, studying the black arts, pouring over his old DnD books in search of a resurrection spell that would actually work. He began conducting bizarre rituals in his bedroom. He would dress up in April's panties and dance around the room chanting incantations. But every night he would fail and end up masturbating into the panties and giving up. He knew the spell would work eventually and if it didn't he would die trying, but what he didn't know was that the spell did work. He was conjuring April's spirit, but she had no desire to speak with him after he murdered her. Then one night, something happened.

While he was dancing around in the old cum encrusted panties chanting his incantations he sneeezed a powerful sneeze, made even more powerful by his humongous jew nose. The sneeze sent him reeling backwards against his bookcase where JewWario's old hat hung in remembrance of his lost friend. The hat fell down on Spoony's head, but in his current head space he failed to notice. In order to raise the dead it was necessary to wear an article of the deceased's clothing. That was why he was dancing around in April's panties, or so he said. But now he was performing the ritual wearing JewWario's hat.

BOOM!

FLASH!

KERBPLOW!

Bolts of lightening filled the room. A swirling blue tornado engulfed him and in the center appeared the ghostly form of Justin Carmichal.

He was dressed like David Bowie from Labyrinth.

"Hello Spoony"

"JewWario..."

"No, that was my old name. In life I was a jew. But since my former wife had me cremated and buried in a Catholic cemetery I have lost favor with the god of Israel. I am no longer entitled to the name Jew Wario. You may call me by my new name. Boo Wario."

"Boo Wario... okay"

"SILENCE! DO NOT THINK THAT BECAUSE I AM DEAD I CAN NOT SENSE YOUR SNARK!"

"Alright jeeze..."

"What are you wearing?"

"Oh these? Uhmmm... you know. Just... my dead wife's panties."

"Did you say... panties?"

"Yeah... look it's part of the ritual. I was trying to raise her from the dead so that she could tell me I didn't murder her."

"Uh huh... Spoony. You were a good friend in my last life. In this one I wish to help you."

"Great maybe you can find April in the afterlife and bring her back here to tell me and everyone on twitter that I didn't kill her. These tweets are driving me crazy man."

"Mmmmm... no. No I think I have a more... permanent solution."

And with that Boo Wario's eye's began to glow blue white with ghostly power. The blue ghostly tornado swirled into a maelstrom. Thunder and lightning filled the room. The stimulation was overwhelming, especially in Spoony's current head space at the time. The Spoony One passed out.

Chapter 3 - Enter Anita

Lindsay awoke in the front seat of her car. She was parked outside of the abortion clinic. She was dazed and dehydrated. Her panties were missing.

"Oh Dr. Chang... psssssh" she breathed out.

The clinic was located in the back room of a spic Bodega in a run down black neighborhood. The sign out form read Carniceria. President Trump had managed to stack the supreme court with enough Pro-Life judges they were finally able to overturn Roe v Wade in his second year as President and criminalize the murder of the unborn in all 50 states. Since then abortion clinics had been driven underground. The authorities tolerated them for the most part, as long as they stayed in Spic and Nigger neighborhoods where they could control the populations of those undesirables.

Lindsay looked at her phone. It was 7am. She had slept for 20 hours.

"Fuck my cunt! I gotta get to work!"

Lindsay searched through her purse for her pill box of cocaine. She snorted a quick bump and put the pedal to the floor tearing ass through the city.

30 minutes later she was walking into the office. She looked like shit. Her lipstick was smeared from the mongoloid doctor's molestation. She smelled like cheap mexican meat, dead baby, and chink cum. Luckily she worked for the great feminist leader Anita Sarkeesian who would surely look upon these stenches as a sign of female empowerment.

"Hey Bitch!"

"Hey Slut! You're late by the way."

"Schhhh... I know. Sorry. I had to get an abortion."

"It's totes cool bitch. I understand. Things are pretty slow around the office these days anyway."

This was the office of Emma Goldman Games LLC. A startup game developer founded by Anita Sarkeesian to develop games with feminist themes. Anita had promised all sorts of great content to her kickstarter and indiegogo backers as well as her supporters. But after 3 years without even releasing any concept art for a game the money was beginning to dry up. In fact E.G. Games was nothing more than a big scam concocted by Anita to get money from stupid SJWs but after 4 years of Trump SJWism was nearly forgotten. Even the most hardcore SJW holdouts were becoming skeptical of Anita's scam. Now they wouldn't even be able to afford next months rent on their office space.

"Listen Linz... I'm not sure how to tell you this but Emma Goldman Games is going out of business. We're liquidating our assets and declaring bankruptcy. I'm sorry babe, but I can't keep you on as an employee anymore."

"Shiiiiit Betch. That sux."

"I know right?"

"Well what are you gonna do? Can't I come work for you at your next exciting venture?"

"Lindsay, babe, I'm sorry but I can't get you wrapped up in what I'm gonna be doing next. I'm gonna be going underground. Big things are happening Linz. Dangerous things. I can't get you mixed up in this shit."

"Anita what are you talking about? Danger?"

"Haven't you ever wondered what we do here? I mean, we don't make games."

"Well I always just assumed the games were coming. I mean... I kinda just hang out in the office and watch movies all day. Hey what do you pay me for."

"For that sweet ass."

Anita pressed her fingers into the slit of Lindsay's vagina, grabbing her ass with the other hand and pulling her in for a deep wet kiss.

"Anita... omigosh. What about affirmative consent?"

"Shut up bitch you know you love it."

"Yeah you're right. Tee hee hee"

They made out for a few minutes while Anita dug out her pussy with two fingers.

After she came Lindsay pulled away.

"Wait wait wait... what were you saying about danger and what you actually do here."

"Oh Lindsay. You're so naive. This operation is a front. We use the money we raise here to finance our real operations. Domestic Terrorism. Lindsay, I am the head of a radical paramilitary feminist organization."

"gasp... you mean... the Empire of Bitches in Heat?"

"The very same. Do you remember the attack two years ago? That was us."

"You blew up the headquarters of every tripple A game developer in the country and all the big indie studios. You blew up Valve's data center. Everyone's Steam account was lost. All those games. The data for Half Life 3... destoryed. Hideo Kojima died in those attacks. That was you?"

"You bet your sweet puss it was."

She grabbed Lindsays and pulled her in for another deep, sloppy kiss.

Lindsay pulled away.

"Oh mi god Anita... Oh my god. This... is... so... KEWL! LIEK OMG I CAN'T BELEIVE IT OMG! You're like a badass feminist action chick terrorist like Sarah Conner."

"I know right?"

"Oh please take me with you. I wanna do badass action hero stuff like you."

"No! Lindsay, listen. You've got a bright future ahead of you. People like you. We need you clean so you can support the legitimate side of our movement."

Anita walked over to a metal cabinet and pulled out an ak-47 and an ammo belt which she slung over her shoulder.

"Anita! Where did you get that gun? I thought you wanted to ban guns?"

"How do you expect to take people's guns if we don't have guns of our own? This is War Lindsey, Social Justice War."

Anita reached under her desk and pulled out a can of gasoline she began dousing the room with.

"So you really can't help me at all? You can't even give me a reference?"

"Trust me Lindsay, in a couple of weeks you're not gonna want my reference. But now that I think of it I do have a lead on a job opportunity for you. Hillary Clinton is getting ready to run for President again. They need staffers. You'd be perfect for it."

"Wow, really you think?"

"Of course, you've had more abortions than anyone I know. With you on her side she can't lose."

Anita pulled up a throw rug revealing a metal hatch to a secret passageway under the building. She opened the hatch and began climbing down.

"Well," said Lindsay "I hope you're right. I don't wanna have to deal with another 4 years of Drumpf."

"Oh, Trust me Lindsay, you're not gonna have to worry about that."

Anita winked at Lindsay then flicked a match into the petrol soaked room, quickly dropping down and closing the hatch behind her.

Lindsay escaped with only minor burns.

Chapter 4 - Big Pimpin in the Chocolate City

Slowly but surely the Spoony One was regaining consciousness.

"Uhhh... Jew... Wario... JewWario... my head... was it... a dream."

That's when he noticed the sounds. Cars honking, people talking, radios playing a cacophony of spic and nigger music, gun shots. These were not the normal sounds of Spoony's apartment. It sounded like he was in a nigger slum. And that awful smell.

Spoony opened his eyes.

He was lying in a trash heap in a back alley somewhere in the ghetto.

"JewWario!" He cryed out. But his voice didn't sound like his own. It was much more high pitch.

"JewWario! What's going on! Where are you?!"

"I'm right here." answered the ghostly Jew.

"Where? I don't see you."

"I'm inside you Spoony. I've been controlling your body for the last few days while you were asleep."

"You've been controlling me? Not cool dude! What have you been making me do? And where the FUCK am I?"

"Oh here? Well this is just the worst slum in Washington D.C. and as for what we've been doing... well..."

"Ay Yo who dis bitch!"

A nigger voice rang out in the alley way.

Smacks lips

"Damn baby you lookin sexy as hell. Who you wit?"

"Uhhhhh... what's going on?"

The fat nigger sauntered up to the Spoony One and placed his hand on Spoony's ass, stroking it gently as one would stroke a kitten.

Spoony jumped forward at the caress.

"Whoa man... I don't know what this is but... whoa" Spoony stumbled as he was tried to get away.

That's when he noticed he was wearing high heeled shoes. Huge platform heels like a whore would wear.

He looked down at his feet. They were black. He looked at his hands. They too were black, and he was wearing large, garish, fake nails.

"Oh My God. JewWario! What did you do to me?!"

"JewWario?" asked the fat nigger. "Bitch who you talkin too? You on one of dem blue toots?"

"JEWWARIO ANSWER ME!"

The ghostly form of JewWario began to materialized before the SpoonyOne. This time he was wearing his regular JewWario outfit. The trademark hat with his Famicom Dojo t-shirt, blue jeans, and pink converse.

"Sorry about this Spoony. I was hoping I'd have more time to explain this to you but to make a long story short I faked your death, got you a sex change operation and permanantly dyed your skin black. As far as the world is concerned Noah Antwiler is dead. You are now Spoonyqua Jackson."

"SPOONYQUA JACKSON?!"

"Dat you name baby?" asked the fat sweaty nigger who had slid up next to Spoonyqua and started groping her large fake breasts. He stank of Marijuana and KFC.

"Oh God!"

Spoony reached down for his dick and balls only to find they were gone, a manmade vagina had taken their place.

"MMMmm yeah baby. I knew I turned you on."

The nigger reached up Spoonyqua's short skirt and poked two finger into her slit.

"Stop that!" Spoonyqua shouted, hopping away, still unsure of how to walk in these heels.

"Oh my god. I can't beleive this. This isn't happening. God Damn You JewWario!"

"Oh it's happening so you better get used to it. This is your life now Spoonyqua. And I told you, it's Boo-Wario now."

"Oh Fuck You!"

"Damn baby don't be like dat."

"I wasn't talking too you!"

"Well den who da fuck you talkin too baby? You smokin crack or what?"

"He can't see me Spoonyqua."

"Stop calling me that."

"Only you can see me. And why not? That is your name now. You are Spoonyqua."

"No. I am not Spoonyqua! I am not some nigger crack whore from DC! I am the Spoony One! I AM THE WINNER OF THE MASHABLE OPEN WEB AWARDS FUNNIEST PERSON TO FOLLOW 2009! I AM AN INTERNET GOD!"

SMACK!

The fat nigger slapped Spoonyqua and she collapsed to the floor.

"Bitch you need to get a hold a yoself. Ya feel me? You histerical honey. Now look, my name is Big Pimpin Petey. I'm da biggest pimp in tha game in dis hood. Now I ain't neva seen you round here before and you got da fattest ass I seen in deez parts in a coons age so what do you say baby? You wanna work for me?"

"JEWWARIO! HELP ME!"

"BITCH WHO DA FUCK IS JEWWARIO? IS DAT YO PIMP? HE TRYIN TO MOVE IN ON MY TURF?"

The nigger pulled out a switch blade and pressed it to Spoonyqua's face.

"Am I gonna have to cut a bitch?"

"Alright Spoony, you're floundering here. I'm gonna take over your body again. Only this time you won't be asleep. You'll still be able to see, hear, feel, and taste everything but I'll be in controll. Don't worry buddy I'm gonna get you through this."

It was as though someone had flipped a switch.

Spoonyqua looked up at Big Pimpin Pete with longing in her eyes. Longing for fried chicken grease stinking nigger dick.

Pete put his knife away as Spoonyqua crawled on her knees and slowly undid his belt and zipper. She pulled out his dick and made sweet whore love to it with her mouth.

She was really going to town.

She reached down between her legs and began fingering her cavity but there was not much sensation in it. She needed to be fucked. She pulled his dick out of her mouth and stood up, still stroking it with her hand.

"You got any crack?"

"Does Big Pimpin Petey have crack? Bitch please."

He pulled out a crack pipe and they each lit up, exhaling crack smoke into each other's mouths as they kissed.

Spoonyqua leaned up against the wall and hiked up her dress revealing her large, fake ass.

"Fuck me in the ass, daddy."

Big Pimpin Petey's face spread out in a huge shit eating nigger grin, revealing his golden, diamond encrusted grill. He grunted as he inserted himself and pounded her colon.

"Ugh... fuck yeah." said Spoonyqua "Do you have any friends baby? Call em up. I'm hot tonight. We finna run a train."

The fat smelly nigger pulled out his phone and put out the word to his homies.

12 other niggers showed up that night. Spoonyqua took all of their cocks. Sometimes 8 or 9 at a time, 3 in each hole.

By the end of the night Spoonyqua's dress was torn to shreds and her whole body was dripping with cum. Head to toe she was covered in nigger jissom. It tasted just like KFC and smelled even worse.

"Got damn bitch. You put all the otha ho's in dis town to shame. Shiiii... you might be the wildest ho in tha ho world. I'm definitely puttin yo ass to work.

C'mon I'll take ya back to da ho house, get you ass cleaned up."

Spoonyqua followed her pimp back to the ho house where she met the other girls working for Big Pimpin Petey. He told them all about her performance that night.

She could see the jealousy in their eyes. Petey ordered the ho's to draw Spoonyqua a bath and get some fresh cloths and bling for her when she got out. A mixed race ho wearing nothing but a g-string led Spoonyqua to the bathroom. She shut the door eased into the tub, closing her eyes. She inhaled slowly and let out a deep breath.

She was finally alone.

Well almost. Boo-Wario was still with her.

Spoonyqua opened her eyes and gazed upon his ghostly apparition.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Not bad? Are you kidding me? You took control over my body. Faked my death. Cut off my dick and balls. Turned me into a woman. Turned me into a nigger. Got me hooked on crack and made me get raped by a pack of niggers. This is the worst night of my life!"

"Rape? Whoa whoa whoa. I seem to recall that being a consensual gang bang all around."

"Consent? You took over my body. You made me do those things! I had no control."

"Oh but that's where you're wrong Spoonyqua. I didn't make you do those things. That little line about taking over your body, that was just to get you to loosen up. Everything you did you did of your own free will."

"What? No. No way. I'm not a fag."

"No, Spoonyqua. You're not a fag. You're a beautiful strong black woman with huge fake tits and ass. You're a ho and you love it."

"No, no, no."

"Yes! Admit it! This has been the greatest night of your life. Look at you. This is the best head space you've ever been in. You're glowing. You're fingering your butthole right now."

"I'm trying to clean all the cum out of it. Jeeze."

Spoony pulled his shit and jizz covered fingers out of his anus and put them straight into his mouth, sucking them clean and swallowing the disease infested goop.

"There, you see?"

"What? Oh... I didn't mean to do that. It just sorta happened."

"It happened because you wanted it to happen. Admit it Spoony. You love your new life."

"No... I loved my old life. You ruined my life. You killed me."

"Spoony I didn't want to tell you this but we ghosts can see the future. If I hadn't done this you really would have killed yourself a few weeks from now. I saved you Spoony. I saved you from a life you hated. Think about it. No more twitter. No more youtube comment sections to lock. No more content to produce for ungrateful fans. No more trolls. No more bad head spaces. That's all over. From now on you're gonna be getting fucked, smoking crack, and making money. Isn't that great?"

Spoonyqua paused for a moment. She looked at herself in the mirror. She felt beautiful. Powerful. Fierce. She felt like Beyonce on crack.

She looked at BooWario with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Thank you." she said.

And with that, BooWario smiled and dissapeared into the night.

Chapter 5 - Interview with the Vampire

Lindsay walked through the ornate double doors of the Hillary Clinton Campaign Headquarters. She was greeted by the receptionist. Miss Bernadette Sanders, the plaquered on her desk read.

Hi, I'm Lindsay Ellis, I'm here for the interview.

"Ah, yes, hello Ms. Ellis. Please have a seat someone will be with you momentarily."

"Say you look kind of familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Oh me? Nuh ho ho.. no. No, no, no."

"You're voice sounds so familiar... Hey wait a minute. Bernadette Sanders...

Bernie? Bernie Sanders is that you?"

"Shhh... please, I'm not allowed to use that name anymore. If Mistress Hillary heard you call me that she'll do horrible things to me. Please Miss Ellis, just take a seat and wait quietly. Please."

Crrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaakkkk...

The door to the back room opened.

The kike bitch entered the room. Lindsay could smell her cunt before she saw her.

It smelled like lox and cream cheese that had been left out too long. She looked like an A. Wyatt Mann cartoon come to life.

"Hello Miss Ellis, Oi'm Debbie Wasserman Shcultz."

Lindsay reached out for a handshake.

"Lindsay Ellis, pleased to meet you."

The kike bitch grabbed Lindsays hand and pulled it to her mouth giving it a tender kiss.

"Please follow me to my office and we'll begin."

The kikes office was a small, dark room with ornate mahogany paneling on the walls.

The room was a mess of old books and rotting jew food. Decayed matzo ball soup and rancid latkas pilled up on the corners of the desk. Splattered on the ceiling above the desk was some mold covered gefilte fish that appeared to have been thrown up there.

The kike pulled out a jar of pickels from her desk drawer.

"Would you like a kosher dill pickel honey?"

"Uuuh... No thanks. I just ate."

"Right down to business. I like that. So tell me. Why do you wish to work for Madame Hillary?"

"Well, I've never had a real job and this seemed like a good way to get paid for basically doing nothing."

"Mmmhmmm... okay. And what makes you think you're qualified for this position?"

"Well I think my resume speaks for itself."

Lindsay handed the peice hot pink printer paper with her resume on it over to old jew hag.

Her resume was hand written in gel pen. There were little glitter hearts and kitten stickers all over it. All it said was "I have had 1000 abortions! XoXoXo 3" written in a girly font.

"Well... my goodness. One thousand abortions. That is impressive. Would you mind if I inspected your cunt? Just to verify this story."

"I thought you'd never ask."

Lindsay hiked up her skirt revealing her flaps. Wasserman Shultz got down on her knees and stuff her big kike nose right up into Lindsays snatch, inhaling deeply.

The stench of death was overwhelming. Her whole body began to convulse in multiple orgasms.

"My god. You weren't kidding. You're perfect for the job. Let me bring in Miss Hillary to conduct the final interview."

The old kike pulled his snout out of Lindsay's cunt and walked over to the corner of the room where a golden rope hung. She pulled the rope ringing a loud bell.

"Bring in Madame Hillary!"

A hidden door on the back wall burst open and in walked two large body guards wearing black suits and sunglasses. Between them they were dragging a lifeless old hag. Her eyes were closed. Her whole body hung limp. She smelled like a bin of soiled sheets in a old folks home. It was Hillary Clinton.

"Give her the injection." said the kike.

One of the bodyguards, the one on her left, reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out a syringe filled with a sanguine fluid. He placed the needle between her lips and injected it into her mouth. The guard on her right grabbed her hair and pulled her head back while the left most guard rubbed on her throat pushing the fluid down her gullet.

Her eyes began to blink rapidly. She appeared to be having some sort of seizure.

Suddenly her eyes popped open in a wide, glassy, bug eyed glare.

"I DON'T FEEL NO WAYS TIRED!" She exclaimed in a bizarre attempt at a southern accent.

"Oh hello Debbie. Who's the skank?"

Hillary eyed Lindsay up and down, undressing her with her eyes.

"Madame Future President, this is Lindsay Ellis, she's here to interview to be your new campaign staffer."

"What are her references?"

The kike handed Hillary the crudely drawn resume. Hillary glanced at it then looked up at Lindsay, smiling.

"Most impressive."

Hillary turned to the kike.

"Shall we give her the loyalty test?"

The kike bitch nodded and pressed the call button on her intercom.

"Bernadette, get your ass in here!"

Bernadette Sanders entered the room sheepishly. His head hung in shame, he kept his eyes on the floor, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"Yes my Mistress?"

"Hike up your skirt, show Lindsay your shame."

"Yes my Mistress."

Bernie proceeded to lift up his skirt revealing his empty crotch. There was no genitalia to speak of. Not even a man-made vagina. Just a blank space between his legs with a small, barely noticable pee hole in the middle.

"We had him scraped clean after the last election. Had to teach him a lesson for fucking with me."

"You did the right thing Mistress. I was so wrong to use my male privilege to try to steal the Presidency from you. It was my fault you lost. I handed the election over to Drumpf."

"DON'T SAY THAT NAME!"

"I'm sorry my Mistress. I just mean, you were right to strip me of my genitals. It was the ultimate checking of my male privilege. I thank you Mistress."

Hillary opened the desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of Evan Williams and a huge

black strap on dildo, 5 inches in diameter.

She took a long, hard swig of bourbon straight from the bottle.

"Bernadette, remove your buttplug."

Bernie reached back and pulled the quadrupple XL (XXXXL) buttplug from his rectum.

The contents of his bowels immediately splooshed out onto the floor.

The smell hit Lindsay instantly.

It was a putrid mixture of shit, cum, blood, and bile seeping out of Bernie Sander's gaping anus.

He began pissing himself in terror.

"LOOK WHATCHU DID YOU SWINE!"

Hillary grabbed a bent peice of wire hanger off the desk and began whipping Bernie across the face an eyes.

"NOW CLEAN IT UP YOU SHIT!"

Bernadette dropped to her knees and began lapping up his sewage like a dog.

Lindsay began to gag. The rank cacophony of foul odors vying for control of the room were all too powerful. Her vision began to blur and go dark. She collapsed on the floor.

When Lindsay awoke Hillary was totally nude. She had the massive dildo strapped on and was fucking Bernie mercilessly up his ass while tears streamed down his face.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz was videotaping.

"Ah, Lindsay, you're awake. Good." said Hillary.

"You almost failed the test. Now, on your feet."

Lindsay stood up. She was in a daze. Mesmerized by the stenches in the air and the rhythmic thumping of the penetration taking place before her eyes. Bernie could no longer hold back his tears, he was bawling. But at the same time he appeared to be oozing pre-cum from his genderless piss hole. Lindsay couldn't help but to chuckle.

As she laughed Bernie looked up at her, hurt. As quickly as he had looked up at her he broke eye contact and lowered his gaze back to the floor.

"Lindsay do you see that large, cartoonishly oversized meat cleaver hanging in the corner?" asked Hillary.

"Yes Ma'am." she answered.

"I want you to pick it up, heft it over your head, and bring it down on Bernadette's neck, severing her head from her body."

"Okay!" said Lindsay as she heaved the cleaver up into the air bringing it down on Bernie's neck, decapitating him in an instant.

His head popped clean off and rolled away.

Aside from the thumping of Hillary's relentless ass pounding there was a brief moment of quiet and then Bernie's neck erupted.

Torrents of blood and cum and shit and puss exploded out of Bernies neck hole like an open fire hydrant on a hot summer's day.

The putrid sewage flooded the room up to their ankles as Hillary's rhythmic thrusting slowly eased to a complete stop.

Hillary took another swig of bourbon and lit a cigarette.

That was good Lindsay, really good. I think you'd be a perfect fit for this job.

There is just one more test.

Hillary leapt backwards onto the desk raising her feet up in the air, ripping her pants off in one smooth motion.

"I need you to change my diaper."

Lindsay slowly and purposefully walked over and slid the diaper off with both

hands. Her whole underside was a mess of liquid shit.

"Make sure I'm nice and clean... use your mouth. And don't forget to swallow."

Lindsay placed her mouth inside Hillary Clinton's vagina and began eating out the shit, swallowing every last drop. She lapped her tongue all over the labial folds, cleaning inside and out. Licking her pubes up and down. When the cunt was all clean she moved her face down the crevace into her ass crack. She ate out her ass and sucked all the shit clean. She used her mouth like a vacuum and sucked out all the shit from her ass that had not fallen out on it's own yet. She powdered Hillary's bottom and put a fresh diaper on before giving the old hag a deep shit filled french kiss. They both licked their mouths clean.

Hillary looked Lindsay up and down, nodding.

She exhaled through her nose.

"You'll do. You'll do nicely."

"I got the job?"

"You're damn right you got the job. Shit I haven't had a job like that in ages. Lindsay I want you to be my personal assistant."

"Oh em gee. Oh em gee. Oh em gee."

"Calm your tits bitch. Now we have a lot of work to do if I'm gonna be President. We're gonna need a lot more staffers. Do you know anyone as qualified as you are for this type of work?"

"Oh I think I know a few people."

"Great, I'm having a party this weekend. A sort of a fund raiser. Spirit cooking, chaos sorcery, that sort of stuff. I want you to come. Bring your friends. There you will see the true evil of my campaign."

As she said this Hillary's eyes flashed red for a moment. Her pupils, normally round and humanoid morphed into reptillian slits and a forked tongue slithered out of her mouth like a snake.

Lindsay smiled bigly.

"Kewl."

Will Lindsay ever have another abortion?

Will President Trump defeat the evil hoards of Social Justice Vampires?

Will Spoonyqua ever review the new Ultima game?

The answers to these and all your questions will be answered in the exciting conclusion to Vampire Bitches In Heat!

Stay Tuned!

Same Nostalgia Wolf Time. Same Nostalgia Wolf Channel.


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